An excellent embodiment of the Whiskey Sour, this is essentially Embury’s Ward Eight, though he preferred bourbon to rye. The ratios are a bit inconvenient — 1/4 ounce of orange juice is a vanishingly small portion of an orange — but it’s worth it. If you’re put off, consider the merits of a double, or even a pitcher’s worth if you have compatriots to assist with the disposition.
2 oz. Wild Turkey 101 rye
1/2 oz. lemon juice
1/4 oz. orange juice
1/4 oz. grenadine
shake with cracked ice and strain
For some reason I had always imagined the titular Ward Eight to be a psychiatric unit housing a straightjacketed Harvey Wallbanger, but the traditional story has it being named by a Boston politician in honor of his district. The earliest recipe on my bookshelf is found in Craddock’s Savoy Cocktail Book of 1930, but HotWired’s venerable (and busted) Cocktail site dated its nominal creation to 1898, from the hands of Tom Hussion at Boston’s Locke-Ober Café.
Be aware that this is, perhaps, the booziest Ward Eight of all the recipes out there — some call for equal parts! — so your mileage when ordering from unknown bartenders will definitely vary.
I had always assumed the Monkey Gland to be a cocktail of a certain type — you know, the “Long, Slow, Fuzzy, Comfortable Screw Against the Wall,” “Screaming Blue Orgasm” and “Kamanawanalei’a” kind of long drinks, whose raison d’être is to provide flirtatious bar-goers a bit of eyebrow-arching titillation when placing an order. Not really something one wants to drink, but something which circumstances (wisely or otherwise) suggest would be The Right Move. I’m pleased to report that this is not the case.
1 1/2 oz. London dry gin
1 1/2 oz. orange juice
1 tsp. grenadine
1/2 tsp. pastis
Shake with cracked ice and strain.
The Monkey Gland is not the product of a late 70’s fraternal organization’s party manual, but is an honest-to-god pedigreed tipple. Regan cites it as having first appeared in Craddock’s Savoy Cocktail Book of 1930, but its name hearkens to a practice begun a decade earlier, when, in 1920, Dr. Serge Voronoff began implanting slivers of freshly-vivisected monkey testicle into the scrota of elderly Frenchmen. Voronoff, who had studied the physiology of Middle-Eastern eunuchs, was convinced that testosterone was the key to a long and healthy life, and promoted his xenotransplantion procedure as a $5,000 fountain of youth. The public’s interest was piqued, and a drink was born. The Monkey Gland is the spiritual progenitor of today’s Liquid Viagra — wholly different concoctions, but each co-opting the name of a contemporary virility treatment to suggest a stiffening drink.I’ve not had a Liquid Viagra, but I suspect that the chief difference between it and the Monkey Gland is that the latter is actually palatable. Ratios for the Monkey Gland vary widely, but the ingredients remain largely the same (Benedictine in lieu of pastis is a common variant). Haigh calls for full teaspoon of pastis, which I find a bit heavy, so here I have reduced it to 1/2 tsp, but otherwise employ Doc’s ratios. 1/2 tsp. is still enough to make its presence felt, but those who favor licorice may wish to double-up.
Out of 6 pounds of Tokay Grapes, select one pound to be put into the Punch last. Now make a boiling Syrup of three pounds of Sugar and one quart of boiling Water and pour this over the remaining five pounds of Grapes. When partly cold rub it through a sieve, leaving skins and seeds behind. Then add the Juice of two Oranges and two Lemons and one quart of St. Julien Claret, 1 jigger of Angostura Bitters.
Then strain and freeze.
Before serving add 1 pint of good Brandy and an Italian Meringue Paste of six Egg whites, colored a nice red and drop in the remaining Grapes.
1 quart of Orange Pekoe Tea (cold).
1 quart of Old Country Club Brandy.
1 pint of Lemon Juice.
1 pint of Orange Juice.
½ pint of Pineapple Juice.
2 quarts Berncastler Berg.
1 pint of Bar Sugar.
Use a large Punch bowl with one Lump of Ice.
Pour in mixture; add one quart of Cook’s Imperial Champagne.
Stir well; decorate with fresh Mint, Fruit in season, and serve.
Use a large glass Stein; fill with Lump Ice.
1 pony Lemon Juice.
1 jigger Orange Juice.
1 pony Pineapple Juice.
1 pony Rock Candy Syrup.
1 jigger Burnette’s Old Tom Gin.
Fill with Seltzer: stir well and serve.